9781631054617HeLovesMeCole Page 5

  * * * *

  Ben spent the following day with his father at his side, hardly able to believe Tom had agreed to hire his old man on. In truth, having another hand at the horse farm would lighten the work load and make his life easier. Probably he should be glad for the unexpected turn of events. Had the new-hire been anyone else, he would have been right pleased, indeed.

  As they rode together, John Brooks showed a keen interest in learning all he could about the day to day operation of the business. He asked all the right questions, and came up with all the right answers whenever Ben had him repeat information back. His old man listened well, and hell if he couldn’t follow the instructions he was given.

  Damned shame he’d wasted so many years of his life.

  “How far does Henderson’s property go?” Brooks drew his horse up and stared off toward the south. “I’m guessing that creek down there marks the perimeter.”

  “Good guess. Yeah, that’s the boundary line. There’s a bridge that crosses the creek over yonder.” Ben pointed the structure out. “One of our responsibilities is to make sure it’s in good repair, same with the fences on the west side.”

  As before, his father took in all the information, nodding as he surveyed the broad expanse of land.

  “Mostly, your work will be back at the barn, Pa. Caring for a dozen or more horses is a time-consuming job, especially during the winter. It gets colder than a witch’s caress around these parts, so you’ve got to be tough. There’s hay to be carried out to the pastures, and you got to always be sure the water’s not froze up.” Ben stroked his hand on the Appaloosa’s long, shaggy man. “The work is hard, so don’t be thinking you can lay back and take it easy.”

  “Hard work is good for a man.”

  Ben cocked an eyebrow. “Never thought I’d hear those words coming out of your mouth, Pa.”

  “Like I said, I’m ready for a change. Just give me a chance, Ben. Just give me a chance.”

  “Tom told you all the rules, I suppose.”

  “Sure did. No drinking on the premises. Card-playing is allowed, but no games of chance. Women aren’t allowed in the bunkhouse—”

  “Except for cleaning,” Ben interjected.

  “And the hired help doesn’t set foot in the house. We take our meals in the mess kitchen behind Della’s living quarters.” He scratched at the day’s growth of beard on his chin. “Needless to say, I’m not allowed to carry any weapons, so I suppose I’ll have to rely on you, son, if we find ourselves in a scrape. I trust you’ll have my back.”

  “Yeah, right.” Ben pushed his old hat back on his head and thought again about the recent troubles around the farm. He decided not to mention them to his father. Why he chose to withhold the information, he wasn’t exactly sure.

  He wondered, too, if he would step up to protect his father if it came to that. As far back as he could remember, his father had never done a thing to protect him. To the contrary, the man had beat him with his fists, lashed him with a whip, and called him every foul, degrading name he could dredge up. He’d belittled him, ridiculed him, and scorned him.

  But, yes, if push came to shove, Ben would do the right thing, wouldn’t he?

  It bothered him that he couldn’t quite be certain.

  * * * *

  Saturday arrived too soon.

  Emily had come home to Sunset with hope filling her heart. She would leave now with an aching emptiness that nothing could ever fill. There was no point in talking to Benjamin again. She’d resigned herself to the fact that it was over between them.

  Nor was there any real point in going back to Denver. Emily no longer felt called to teach, and she had no desire whatsoever to attend any further classes at Miss Brundage’s illustrious Female Academy.

  Without Ben, life had no meaning. Without teaching, life had no purpose.

  Emily saw little reason to live.

  The grayness of the morning settled around her like a shroud. Her teeth chattered as she sat on the edge of the creek bank staring out over the ice-covered waters. How strange to think that beneath the frozen surface, life continued. Nature had provided well for her fish and her plants, enabling them to survive even the coldest seasons.

  Strange, too, how the human heart could be broken and yet somehow survive.

  Emily pressed a gloved hand to her breast. With the thick layers of clothing and the woolen cloak she wore, she could feel nothing—not even the slightest beat—yet she remained alive. So often a thick exterior hid much from view and made it impossible to discern what was taking place at a deeper level.

  Still gazing out across the creek, she recounted the memories it held and marveled that a single place could have so many different layers of meaning in her life. It had been the scene of her greatest joys and the place of the bitterest sorrows. All the while, it possessed a simple unconcern. Despite the tragedy it had witnessed, and no matter what secrets it had shared, the little creek remained impassive. In spring and summer, its gentle waters flowed onward. From late autumn through winter, a thick layer of ice formed, yet below, the creek still flowed. When springtime came again, the ice would melt away. All would go on as quietly as before.

  But now, how would her life go on? She blinked back tears as she recalled the many dreams that lay shattered. She’d expected Ben to welcome her home, to understand her misgivings, and to insist she give up teaching and stay in Sunset. Even more, she’d secretly hoped he might propose over the holidays. What a fool she’d been! She’d actually daydreamed about a Christmas wedding.

  Sobs poured out. She could not go back to Denver, back to school, back to her dull, dreary existence with Hattie Mae Richards and her inexorable platitudes.

  But neither could she stay in Sunset now, with Ben so close and yet so far, and how could she ever bear to see him with his new love?

  Sadness swept over her as she thought once more of the murky waters beneath the ice, the same waters that had claimed her brother’s life. Robb had drowned there one summer afternoon ten years before.

  A crackling twig caught her attention. Her head snapped up and she looked around, but she saw no one. Probably a rabbit, maybe a fox. If she didn’t bother the creature, it wouldn’t bother her.

  Emily sighed. Nobody cared. That was the worst of it. Not Ben. Not Kat. Not even her mother and father. They’d come by for Thanksgiving dinner and had barely stayed more than an hour. Pa wasn’t feeling well, Mama said. She wanted to get him home to bed.

  No, nobody cared at all about her and her problems.

  She might as well be dead.

  * * * *

  Ben rode slowly toward the J Bar K ranch, his thoughts swirling through his head like the delicate snowflakes drifting through the early morning skies. The ground glistened beneath his horse’s hoofs. For the hundredth time he asked why he couldn’t leave well enough alone. Seeing Emily now would be the worst possible thing he could do. But he couldn’t stop thinking about her.

  In a few hours, she would be on her way to Denver. She would be safe, and he wouldn’t have to worry about her any longer. Yet at what cost had he purchased his precious peace of mind?

  A cost far too dear to pay.

  From the time he’d awakened, he’d had an uneasy feeling. He couldn’t let Emily leave believing he no longer cared.

  As he neared the ranch, he saw movement in the yard. Immediately he recognized Joshua Barron, Emily’s brother-in-law. Ben waved his hat as he called out a greeting.

  The tall, bearded man had been about to mount his horse. He stopped, dropped the reins, and came forward.

  Alarmed by the grim look on Joshua’s face, Ben drew his horse to a halt. “What is it? What’s wrong?” His heart lurched. Fearing for Emily, he glanced toward the house.

  “She’s gone.”

  “What are you talking about? The stage doesn’t leave for hours.”

  The back door flew open and Kat ran toward him. “Ben, you’ve got to help us. Have you seen Emily? Did she come out to the Henderson
place?”

  “No. If she were there, do you think I’d be here?” He jumped down and rushed toward Kat. “What’s going on?”

  Kat burst into tears, burying her head on her husband’s shoulder. Joshua put his arms around her. He spoke in a low, quiet voice. “We slept a bit later than usual this morning. When we got up and came downstairs, we couldn’t find Emily. At first we thought she might still be upstairs, but she wasn’t in her room.”

  “We found a note from her.” Kat lifted her head and sobbed out the words. “She said not to bother looking for her. She said she wasn’t coming back.”

  “You’ve checked every room? All the outbuildings?” Ben scrambled for possibilities. “What about her horse?”

  “Blossom is gone,” Joshua confirmed.

  Ben stared down at the ground, only then noticing the hoof prints leading away from the J Bar K. He knew at once where Emily had gone. The creek.

  “I think I know where she is,” he said, swinging one leg up over the saddle. “And I think I’d better find her as soon as I can.”

  “Do you want me to go with you?” Joshua grabbed for his horse’s reins.

  Ben shook his head. “No, I need to do this alone.” His heart pounded as he rode off, racing toward the creek. From the time the sun had first come up that morning, he’d had a bad feeling, a sense that something wasn’t right.

  When he spotted the huddled figure on the creek bank, his heart cried out.

  “Emily, for God’s sake, what are you doing out here?” In one swift motion, Ben slid down from the saddle and ran toward her. “What’s come over you?” Puffs of frosty air shot out with the words.

  She turned away, her head down. “What difference does it make to you? You don’t care anymore.” Emily rose and moved a step closer toward the creek. “I came out here because I needed to be alone, because I needed a chance to cry, a chance to think about my life.”

  “Don’t do anything crazy.”

  “I’ve been thinking about the past. About the future, too.” She took another step toward the edge.

  “Come away from the creek.”

  “I sat here, Ben, thinking about so many things, and wondering if anyone would miss me if I were gone.”

  “Emily, get over here.”

  Slowly, she turned to face him. “I learned something about myself today.”

  “Please,” he said in a quiet voice. “Step away from the water.”

  “Only cowards take their own lives, Ben. I’m not a coward.”

  “No, of course you’re not.”

  “I’m strong. Strong enough to survive.”

  He nodded. “Yes, you are.” Ben went to her and placed an arm over her shoulders. “Come on. It’s time to go.”

  “No, not yet. I’m not leaving until you give me some sort of explanation. That’s the least you can do. Now that I’ve found my strength, I know I can bear it. Please, Ben. I have a right to know.”

  He stopped in his tracks. True, he’d come there to talk to Emily, to smooth things over as best he could, and to ease her heart. Now he wondered what he could possibly say to make things right. Telling her the truth wasn’t an option. Not really. He sighed and turned to face her.

  “Em, please. Don’t go looking for snakes,” he warned.

  Her features scrunched up into an odd expression. “Snakes?” She immediately glanced down at the snowy ground, then jerked her head up again. “What are you talking about? There aren’t any snakes out at this time of year.”

  “That’s something I heard from my father once.” He took a slow breath, then pushed the hat back on his head. “You know, my old man’s never taught me much. At least, nothing of any value. Except for that one piece of advice. It’s worth remembering.” Seeing the puzzled expression still on Emily’s face, he stepped closer. “Don’t go looking for snakes,” he repeated in a low, slow voice. “If you do, you’ll probably find them.”

  “I hate snakes.” A shudder shook her body. “Why would I go looking for them?”

  “The point is if you look for trouble, sure enough that’s what you’ll get.”

  She rolled her big, blue eyes at him. “I know what you’re saying, Ben. You don’t need to go around spouting clever little adages. Heaven knows, I’ve heard enough of those from Hattie Mae. My roommate at the academy,” she reminded him. “And stop trying to change the subject. Can’t you please just tell me the truth, Ben?”

  “No, I can’t. In time, I will. I swear it. But for now, all I can say is that there are things you don’t understand. Things that I can’t talk about right now.”

  To his dismay, Emily jerked away. He should have known talking to her wouldn’t be easy. He should have guessed that she’d refuse to listen. She drew herself up, tilting her head slightly.

  “Please, don’t take me for a fool. I understand exactly what’s going on. And that thing about looking for snakes? I understand what you’re saying. You’re telling me to keep my nose out of your business because I might not like what I find. Well, it’s a little too late for that, don’t you think?” Tears glistened in her eyes. “I already know what you’re up to. I saw you, remember? You and that…that girl!” She flung the words at him, then turned and hurried away.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” His patience snapped. “By the way, her name is Della. If you’re going to talk about her, you might as well call her by her name.”

  Emily stopped tromping through the field and turned to face him again. A look of utter defeat settled over her. “I don’t understand how you can do this to me, how you can suddenly forget everything we’ve shared. I suppose you’ll tell me we were just kids, that we didn’t really know what we wanted.” She took a step closer. “I knew what I wanted, Ben. I wanted you. I thought we were meant to be together. I thought we’d always have each other.”

  He yearned to comfort her, to assure her of his own love. She was supposed to know how much he cared. She was supposed to know how much he adored her. From the moment they’d first met, a bond had formed between them. She was the only girl for him. What they shared went far deeper than mere words.

  “Emily, please—” He hurried to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Della doesn’t mean anything to me. There’s nothing going on between us.”

  “I saw the way you looked at her.”

  “You saw nothing. I heard the door, I glanced over at her. Anything you believe you saw was the result of your own imagination, nothing more.”

  “Don’t think you can put an end to the problem by blaming me. I’m not the one in the wrong, Ben.” She pressed her lips together, then squared her shoulders and looked up at him. “I’m not asking you for much, really. I want an explanation. The simple truth, that’s all.” Her eyes glistened, tears threatening to spill again.

  But truth was rarely ever simple, he’d learned. “I can’t give you any answers right now.” He didn’t like what he had to do. “Think whatever you want, Emily. Now, let’s get you back to the ranch. You’ve got a stage to catch.” Ben looked around. “You rode out here, didn’t you? Where’s your horse?”

  Emily blinked and glanced toward the creek. “She was right over there.”

  She cupped her hands to her mouth and called for Blossom. So did Ben.

  “Blossom knows the way home,” he said. “Come on. You can ride with me.”

  “Wait! What’s that?” Emily pointed.

  Something moved through the woods. It was not Emily’s pretty palomino mare, but a hunched, hulking figure of a man loping through the trees.

  “Hey!” Ben called out. “What are you doing over there?”

  Chapter Four

  Emily spun around then gasped as she, too, recognized the man. “That’s the fellow we saw in town. The one who tried to help me when I fell.”

  They’d apparently frightened him. Like an animal, he bolted and quickly disappeared among the thick stands of pine.

  “He’s probably holed up at Cody’s old cabin,” Ben said, recalling
the odd wood-carver who’d once lived among in the forest. He continued staring off into the distance but saw nothing more of the stranger. “Might want to mention it to Joshua and Kat.”

  “Yes, I will.” A wistful smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. “You know, I miss Cody. Sure, he was eccentric, but he had a good heart.”

  “I miss the crazy coot, too,” Ben agreed. Cody Bradford had been one of the most influential men in Ben’s life. “I hope he and Maddie are doing all right.”

  Emily leaned against Ben. All the fight and all the argument seemed to drain from her body. “To be honest, I miss a lot about the old days,” she said. “Life’s a lot easier when you’re a child, it seems. But there’s no point in looking back. Better to stay focused on the future, I suppose.”

  “Yes. That’s what Tom always says. We can’t change the past.”

  Emily turned toward him. Hope shimmered in her blue eyes. “I wouldn’t want to change it, Ben.”

  It was on that very spot where they had shared their first kiss one summer’s evening. She was fourteen; he was sixteen. A simple kiss. Sweet, wholly innocent, yet forever unforgettable. Ben’s breath caught. Dear God, he wanted to kiss her again, wanted to pull her into his arms and keep her close forever, but things were complicated enough already, and his heart couldn’t bear to hold her near then let her go.

  A neighing sound broke the reverie. “There’s Blossom.” Ben smiled and whistled toward the mare. “Come on, girl.” When the mare came close enough, he grabbed the reins and led her toward Emily. “Let’s get back now.”

  * * * *

  Later that morning, Ben stood at Emily’s side as the stage driver loaded her valise on board. He noted several other passengers waiting, so she wouldn’t lack for conversation on the trip back to Denver.

  “Listen, Em,” he said, “I hate to see you unhappy. Especially when I’m the cause of it.”