NoRegretsColeNC Read online

  “Yes, beautiful, indeed.”

  He looked right at her as he spoke the words.

  Someday she’d have to figure out a way to keep from blushing so profusely. Hattie knew her cheeks must be as red as the bandana she’d tied around her hair. Her tongue suddenly felt thick and swollen.

  “Well, yes. So, how do we go about this fishing? What do we do first?”

  * * * *

  Willie considered the next two hours to be among the finest of his life. In the past, whenever he’d been with a pretty girl, his mind had fixated on only one thing: getting what every young man wanted. With Hattie, it was different.

  He liked her wide-eyed wonderment and her eagerness to learn as he taught her to fish. Although he’d always taken pleasure from the sport, sharing it with Hattie made the simple act of throwing a baited hook into the water and waiting for a bite more enjoyable than ever.

  But after a time, as the sun moved higher and the day grew warmer, they put down the fishing rod and moved to sit beneath the shady willow. By now, his leg ached from the day’s exertions. He carefully extended it, then leaned back against the tree’s broad trunk. The willow’s long, drooping branches drew close around them like a curtain, enfolding them in a quiet shelter.

  Hattie’s demeanor changed, the playfulness replaced now with her usual reserve. She grew very still, with a pensive look that sparked Willie’s curiosity.

  “What are you thinking?”

  She shrugged. “This and that. Nothing all that important, I suppose. You know, of course, that’s not the proper way to ask.”

  “How am I supposed to do it?”

  Clearing her throat, she squared her shoulders, folded her hands in her lap and smiled. “If you’re wanting to know what’s on a person’s mind, you’re supposed to offer a penny for their thoughts.”

  “What if a man hasn’t got a penny?”

  “Oh, dear.” Furrows lined her brow, then she brightened. “If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’penny will do.” She quoted the lines of a nursery rhyme. She must have heard a lot of them growing up, Willie surmised.

  “If you haven’t got a ha’penny, God bless you.”

  Fortunately, he knew the rhyme, as well. One of his governesses had taught it to him. He wondered more about Hattie’s childhood and the education she’d received. She never spoke of her family.

  “Yes, that’s how it goes,” she said with a shy smile. Her gaze met his, and then she quickly looked away.

  “I suppose I might be able to come up with a coin.” Willie fumbled at his pocket as he spoke. He dug out a shiny one cent piece and held it out to her.

  “A penny saved is a penny earned. Benjamin Franklin said that,” she quipped.

  “Go on, take it.”

  “All right, I will.” Hattie reached for the copper coin.

  “Now, Miss Richards, you’ll have to tell me what’s on your mind.” He grinned at her. “I’ve paid your price. Surely you don’t intend to welsh on another bargain,” he teased.

  She stared down at the penny in her hand. “Do you really want to know? And if I say what’s on my mind, will you promise not to be angry with me?”

  Willie couldn’t imagine ever getting mad at Hattie Mae. What thoughts could she possibly have in her pretty head that might upset him?

  He held up a hand as though swearing a solemn oath. “I promise.”

  For a moment longer, she hesitated. “I want to know about your father.”

  “My father, the reprobate? The worthless miscreant? Why would you want to know anything about him?” The veins in his neck throbbed and bulged. Willie fought back his ire, reminding himself that he’d given Hattie permission to speak her mind.

  “Mrs. Kellerman told me about his misdeeds. It was really none of my business, I suppose, but I knew something awful had happened. Of course, I’m not sure how truthful she was, how much she actually knows. I want to hear it from you, Willie.”

  He shook his head. “No need to dredge it all up. Whatever she told you will suffice.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I shouldn’t have said anything.” Hattie turned away.

  “No, it’s fine. Don’t ever regret speaking up.” He sighed and reached for her hand. Although she let out a small gasp, she didn’t pull away. “Maybe I should talk about him. It might help me come to terms with it all.”

  “I don’t want to push you.”

  “It’s all right. I need to do this.” He squeezed her hand and was rewarded with another smile, one a little brighter than before. If he gave another squeeze and pressed harder yet, would the smile grow? He nearly tried it.

  “Are you sure?” Her voice whispered through the summer air like a gentle breeze.

  He nodded. “I looked up to my father. When I was a boy, I thought him the finest man in the land. Colorado wasn’t a state back then, only a territory. Of course, there was talk about statehood, and people who were working to make it happen. My father was one of them. He had ambitions.” Willie closed his eyes for a moment, recalling the pride he once felt for the man who’d sired him. Opening them again, he spoke with a heavier voice. “He could have risen so high, done so much good. Instead, he threw everything away.”

  He looked toward the heavens, his gaze sweeping through the canopy of willow branches to search the now-cloudless azure skies. His soul yearned for peace. With her simple words and innocent questions, Hattie had stirred up all his restlessness, all the bitter memories, all the anguish.

  “Sons are supposed to look up to their fathers,” she said in a hushed voice. Her hand still rested in his. “You can’t fault yourself for that.”

  He drew strength from her. “I admired him, Hattie. I spent every moment I could with him, traveling beside him when he was on the circuit. More than anything,” he added, hanging his head, “I wanted to be just like him.”

  “Of course you considered him a good man. He was your father. You respected him.”

  “He didn’t deserve my respect.” Willie felt his muscles tighten. “I wasn’t clever enough to see the truth about him. When I look back, there were signs, Hattie. I should have known.”

  “You’re being much too hard on yourself,” she said, moving closer.

  “He put up such a good front, always appeared to be such a fine, upstanding fellow. You’re right, I suppose. I wasn’t the only one he fooled. Actually, I think most people who knew him were surprised when the truth came out.”

  “Maybe he wasn’t all bad, Willie. Have you considered that? Maybe something drove him…”

  He shook his head. “No. That’s no excuse. He was driven by nothing more than greed. He let his ambitions overtake him, always talking about making a name for himself, maybe someday becoming governor.”

  Hattie frowned. “You’re speaking of him as though he’s passed away. Has your father died, Willie?”

  His breath caught. Again, his mind flickered back to the revelations his mother had shared. He trembled slightly, actually unsure whether his father could still be counted among the living.

  “I don’t know.” He pulled his hand away and gave an indifferent shrug. “I don’t care.”

  He’d given Hattie a shock, he knew. Her gray eyes widened, her mouth puckered, and she drew in a sharp, short breath. To her credit, she remained silent. The pretty girl with the kind spirit wasn’t given to argument or disagreement.

  All the same, her reaction bothered Willie. Or maybe it was his own reaction, his own judgmental opinions that disturbed him. He should care what happened to his father, despite the man’s failings. Fathers deserved respect and honor according to the Christian principles he’d been taught.

  Of course, he hadn’t been a good student of those virtues. He strayed far from the narrow path of righteousness—the same path upon which Hattie Mae Richards had her feet firmly planted.

  “What about you?” he asked, shoving his thoughts aside and turning his full attention to his companion. “You don’t talk much about yoursel
f, about your family.”

  Her face reddened. Hattie looked away. “I don’t see any reason to talk about myself. I’ve lived a rather dull life.” She sighed, shrugged, and lowered her gaze. “You already know all there is to tell.”

  Now it was his mouth that puckered, his brows that knitted into a frown. “I hardly know you at all, Hattie Mae. I know your name,” he said, lifting one thick hand and ticking his fingers. “I know you’re studying to become a nurse, and I know that you attended school in Denver.” He paused, then ticked off a fourth item. “You and Emily Sue roomed together.”

  “Yes, correct on all counts.” Hattie lifted her gaze, her countenance beaming. With a triumphant air, she crossed her arms and nodded. “So, you see, you know all about me.”

  “Where were you born? Do you have brothers or sisters? Where were you raised? What sort of work did your father do? Was your mother as pretty as you?” Willie moved closer as he spoke. He reached up and placed a hand at Hattie’s flaming cheek.

  “I don’t know.” Hattie turned away. She got to her feet and strolled out from beneath the willow, parting the branches with trembling hands.

  Although his movements were awkward and his gait slow, Willie lumbered to his feet and followed. “Did I say something wrong? I never meant to upset you.” When she turned around and he saw the tears glistening in her eyes, he knew he’d done precisely that. “Please, talk to me. Tell me what I did. Tell me why you’re crying.” He put an arm around her shoulder and drew her close. She buried her head against his shoulder.

  “I don’t know where I was born. I don’t know if I have brothers or sisters. I don’t know anything about my father, or my mother, either.” A breath shuddered from her lungs, and she pulled herself away. “The truth of it, Willie, is that I was raised in a foundling home. I’ve never had a real family. I don’t even know when I was born. Apparently whoever dropped me off on the doorstep didn’t bother to share that information.”

  “I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what to say. Damn him and his impulsive ways, always blurting things out, always pushing people. Now, he’d pushed too far, had forced Hattie into a painful place filled with unhappy memories, all to satisfy his own curiosity.

  “It’s certainly not your fault.” She tugged a handkerchief from her sleeve and pressed it to her eyes. “I shouldn’t let it bother me, really. But it does. Sometimes I can’t help but wonder about who I am.”

  “No need to wonder,” he said, moving closer. “I’ll tell you who you are. You’re Hattie Mae Richards…” His voice trailed off as he frowned. “Is that really your name?”

  She nodded. “At least, as far as I know. I can’t be sure of anything.”

  “Be sure of this. You’re a lovely girl, the kindest I’ve ever met.” He held out his hand. “I can’t stand on this leg much longer. Would you mind if we sat down again?”

  * * * *

  Hattie glanced toward his injured leg, realizing how thoughtless she’d been. She’d allowed her personal feelings to come before his comfort.

  “Here, lean on me.” Before, she’d refrained from offering help unless asked. Now, she quickly stepped up, bracing herself to take his weight against her shoulder. “We’ll sit in the shade again.”

  “Let’s get as close to the water as we can, all right?”

  “Are you planning to do more fishing?” Although it would take his attention away from her, Hattie worried that the activity might be more than Willie’s leg could bear. When he shook his head, she felt both relief and despair. She hoped he’d ask no more questions about her childhood.

  A few moments later, settled again on the creek bank by the sheltering willow, he turned and expressed his thanks.

  “I want you to know,” he added, “how much I’ve enjoyed spending time with you.”

  “It’s been very pleasant,” she quickly agreed. For the most part, it had, indeed.

  “Are you saying you’ve enjoyed it, too?” His gaze lingered on her.

  Nervous energy flickered through her body like the electricity Dr. Kellerman sometimes spoke about. He said someday every home in the country would have lights at the touch of a button. Hattie giggled at the absurdity of her thoughts and struggled to focus once more on Willie. He’d asked her a question. She couldn’t remember what it was.

  “What were you saying?”

  “I asked if you enjoyed being with me.”

  Hattie looked deeply into his eyes. She’d never before seen such warmth, such keen interest, and such genuine concern. She swallowed, nearly choking on her breath. Yes, she enjoyed being with Willie, but did she dare tell him so? Was that something a girl should confess to a fellow?

  “Do I need another penny?” Willie placed a hand at her cheek. “Please, Hattie, tell me what you’re thinking.”

  How could she respond to such a request? Should she speak up and tell him the truth, tell him she found him quite handsome, and that her heart pounded with anticipation each time he came near? He’d deem her a silly fool, which, actually, is what she was. She hated to admit it, though. After all those long-winded lectures from Miss Brundage at the female academy, all those dire warnings about getting involved with brutish men, she should know better.

  But Willie Morse was not a brute. Not anymore, at least.

  “Hattie?”

  “Yes?”

  His fingers grazed her cheek. “Are you all right? You look a bit lost. Or maybe confused.”

  “Yes, I suppose I am. Lost,” she said. “Well, confused, too.”

  “I want to kiss you.”

  Chapter Eight

  The bold statement should have come as a shock. It didn’t. Unable to look at the endearing young man without wanting to fling herself into his arms, Hattie turned away from him and stared out at the glittering, crystal clear waters. “Yes, I know,” she said softly. “I want to kiss you, too, Willie, but it’s probably not a good idea.”

  “Why not?” He inched closer, putting an arm around her trembling shoulders. Warmth flowed through her body. Hattie felt as if she might melt into a puddle.

  “Because kisses can too easily lead to…other things.” She lowered her gaze.

  “And what other things might those be?”

  “Please, don’t embarrass me.”

  “But you look so pretty when you blush.”

  Her head snapped up. Surprised, she twisted around to face him again. “I do?” She couldn’t stop the smile that suddenly came. “You think I’m pretty? Really?” Her cheeks heated more. “When I’m blushing, I mean.”

  “Actually, I think you’re pretty all the time, Hattie. But even more so when you blush. I guess that’s why I’m such a tease.”

  Too nervous now for any rational thought process, Hattie anxiously brushed at her skirts. “Maybe we should go back to town. You did say you weren’t planning on doing any more fishing. Of course, that’s probably because of me. I told you I knew nothing about catching fish. I’m sure I’ve spoiled all your fun.”

  “Not at all.” Willie laughed. “I didn’t really bring you out here to catch fish, Hattie. Didn’t you know that?”

  “What are you talking about?” She shook her head. “I don’t understand.”

  “I just wanted to spend a little time with you.”

  Hattie couldn’t say a word. The way Willie was looking at her made her heart flutter and her pulse race. She was blushing again—profusely—but she couldn’t do a thing about it. Her eyes slowly closed and she drew in a breath. She knew what was coming, but what exactly was she supposed to do? She’d never been kissed before.

  Something soft and warm brushed her lips. Her eyes flew open.

  Willie’s face was a scant inch or two from hers. He was watching her, obviously unsure how she would react.

  “You’re kissing me,” she whispered.

  He bent forward, responding to her words with another gentle kiss, only this time his lips delayed leaving hers.

  Hattie couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t move. Al
l she could do was close her eyes once more and give herself up to this strange, but wonderful new sensation.

  Willie’s hands came up to stroke her cheeks as his mouth covered hers with yet another kiss. This time, she moaned softly as her body urged her to respond. She pressed closer to him, leaning into him, loving the exhilarating feelings as his arms went around her.

  She couldn’t describe the sensations, but what did it matter? She liked what he was making her feel. Hattie had never guessed that kissing could be so enjoyable.

  Flustered, she finally forced herself to pull away from Willie’s enticing lips. No matter how pleasurable kissing was, she had to put a stop to it.

  Willie must have understood. With a smile, he whispered, “Thank you,” and then, it was almost as if the kiss had never happened. He moved a short distance away, took off his shoes and socks, and scooted forward so that he could dangle his bare feet in the water. “Why don’t you join me?” he suggested.

  What a wonderful idea, and the perfect way to break the tension filling the air.

  “Yes, I think I will.” Of course, she no doubt looked quite silly slipping her shoes off, and it was a bit discomfiting to sit there and discreetly pull off her stockings. Thankfully Willie turned the other way. “All finished now,” she reported, clutching her hosiery in her hands. “You know, I’ve never done anything like this before. Oh, the water’s warm.” She slipped one toe beneath the surface and giggled again. “It’s rather fun, Willie. We should have done this sooner.”

  “Until today, you’d never been fishing. You’d never dangled your bare feet in the water.”

  Until today, I’d never been kissed, either.

  He made a tsk, tsk noise. “You’ve missed out on a lot.”

  “I suppose so. Actually, I find it hard to say. What I mean is that I don’t even know what normal children do. I don’t know what I’ve missed out on.”

  “Tell me about it,” he said. “About growing up in a children’s home, I mean.”