NoRegretsColeNC Page 13

  She pressed herself against Willie, elated to feel that wondrous, hard part of his anatomy she’d heard so much about. Her entire body now seemed to ache with a strange longing she couldn’t describe. Feeling that hardness excited her, made her body writhe against his in some desperate desire to fill the emptiness inside of her.

  “Do that more.” Willie’s words sounded hoarse.

  Pleased that he liked what she was doing, Hattie quickly obeyed. At once, his shaft grew bigger and harder. Hattie gasped, stunned at the feeling that she held some mystical power, that she could make this strange occurrence happen.

  She wanted to touch him. She must touch him. Her hands moved down, then closed around his swollen member. Hattie knew Willie wanted to make love to her. Her own inhibitions had vanished, although she couldn’t remember precisely when, but what difference did it make? They were gone, she was free, and she intended to fully enjoy every moment of this incredible new experience she and Willie shared.

  “I want to feel you,” she whispered. “Naked, I mean.”

  “Not yet.” His hot breath quivered against her cheek. “Just be still.”

  Unsure what he meant to do but wanting only to please him, Hattie nodded. She lay quietly on his bed as he slowly removed each piece of clothing she wore. He hovered over her, gazing upon her body with a look of reverence.

  Never had Hattie felt so beautiful, so wanted.

  She would remember this moment always.

  Suddenly, Willie’s fingers slid up her legs, slipped between her thighs, and pushed deep inside her hot, wet center.

  “Oh, my goodness, that feels…so good.”

  He smiled down at her. Hattie closed her eyes as he began to stroke, gently at first, then gradually increasing in urgency. Panting, breathless for more, she clutched at him, her body rocking back and forth in a rhythmic demand for release.

  What was she supposed to do now?

  She moaned, frustrated at not knowing how to stop the frantic aching that made her feel as if she were on fire, burning from head to toe with an agony that she both wanted to end and wished could last forever.

  Confusion swirled through her head. What she felt was so right, and yet so wrong. This must never happen between them again, so she must enjoy this one night as fully as possible.

  He kissed her and in that moment the confusion went away. Every thought flew out of her head and she gave herself up to the pleasure, exulting as her body arched to meet each pounding thrust of his fingers as he lifted her to higher and higher peaks of pleasure.

  Willie broke the kiss, but before she could cry out, his mouth returned to her ripe breasts, suckling at each, even as his fingers still teased her mercilessly, slipping in and out. His head moved downward a little more. Now, his tongue lapped at her taut belly. “Do you like it? Do you want more?”

  “Yes, more.” She moaned and writhed.

  “Do you want me inside you?”

  She could only pant and nod. At last, the long-awaited moment had come. When his fingers slipped away, the aching emptiness consumed her.

  “Hurry, please.” If something didn’t sate her hunger soon, she feared she might well die.

  Finally, his clothes stripped away and tossed onto the floor, Willie lay naked above her. She looked up, drew in a breath, and held it, too afraid to move as she felt Willie’s rigid shaft pressing at her tight, virginal opening. As he pushed harder, she squeezed her eyes shut, knowing the terrible pain she must endure.

  “It won’t hurt so much if you’ll relax.”

  “I can’t. I don’t think this is a very good idea, after all.”

  “Are you changing your mind?”

  He drew back, studying her. Hattie finally let out her breath and somehow managed to give her head a slight shake. No, she would not change her mind. She wanted to please Willie, and even more, she wanted to please herself. For the first time, she realized how desperately she yearned to live, not merely exist. Willie understood, and now, he could set her free from all the walls she’d built around herself through the years, free of all the shyness, all the hesitation, all those feelings of never being good enough. It might hurt, but it would be worth the pain.

  “Just do it, Willie. Do it and get it over with.” She sucked in another breath, once again bracing herself for the agony.

  He edged forward.

  Hattie gasped as she felt herself stretching open to take him inside. When he thrust deeper, she gripped his arms at the burning sensation ripping through her. Heavens, it was worse than she’d ever imagined! Why hadn’t she listened to Miss Brundage? But, she had listened. The problem was that she hadn’t believed all the outrageous tales the old spinster shared with her girls.

  Wild thoughts crowded through her mind.

  “No, no, you’ve got to stop. I can’t bear it, Willie.”

  “Too late now,” he whispered. “The deed’s done, and if you’ll keep still…”

  His words trailed off as Hattie let out a sigh. “It doesn’t hurt so much now.”

  “If you want me to stop, I will.”

  “No, I think I like it. It’s a peculiar feeling, but it’s actually rather pleasant.”

  Willie chuckled. He bent his head close to hers and kissed the tip of her nose. Slowly, he moved within her.

  Her arms reached around him, and she clung to him as if clinging to life itself, caught in some mystical place between anxious terror and pure pleasure. She didn’t know what to expect, or what was expected of her. She knew only that she liked what Willie was making her feel and that if she let go of him now, he might stop, or move away, and those exquisite pleasures would be lost.

  Willie’s mouth found hers, and as his tongue teased, she parted her lips, opening fully to him. His body shuddered. Excited at knowing she’d pleased him, she grew bolder, meeting each thrust of his tongue with one of her own.

  Their breaths came faster now as he moved against her in a frenzied rhythm. Her head fell back against the soft pillow as her body learned the rhythm, too, as though she and Willie had truly become one.

  Faster they moved. Sweat rippled between her breasts. She felt hot and wet and glowing. Crazy memories spun through her mind, images of Helen Brundage rapping her long wooden pointer at the chalkboard, explaining the horrors of copulation.

  Oh, Miss Brundage, if only you knew!

  Hattie gave herself up to the wondrous pleasure that coursed through her as she reached the peak. Willie groaned, grunted, and tore himself away, his hot semen coming out in huge spurts.

  “Oh, sweetheart, that was good.” He collapsed onto her, his breathing hard, his body trembling. “So good.” His eyes closed, and soon his breathing quieted.

  She closed her eyes, too, but unlike the man beside her, Hattie could not fall asleep. With her body sated—and the effects of the alcohol now wearing off—a host of troubled thoughts filled her head as the realization of what she’d just done took hold.

  Panic struck. Grabbing the sheets, she pulled them up to cover her as she squirmed into a sitting position. She shook Willie.

  “Wake up. I have to talk to you.”

  He groaned and turned his head but didn’t open his eyes.

  “Willie, please. You have to wake up.” She shook him harder.

  One eye opened. “Yeah, what did you want?”

  “We have to talk.”

  “About what?”

  “About…what we just did.”

  He grinned and grabbed her hand. “You want more already?”

  Hattie jerked her hand away. “No, I want to talk. This is serious, Willie. Don’t you realize what just took place here?”

  Although he didn’t look pleased at having his sleep interrupted, he finally opened both eyes and nodded. “All right. Let’s talk.”

  Suddenly her shyness returned. With great effort she managed to find her voice. “Nothing will happen because of what we did, will it? I mean, am I likely to find myself facing unwanted consequences?” Nervous at the answer he migh
t give, she twisted her fingers in her lap and hoped for the best. She didn’t want to ever have regrets for what she’d done.

  “You’ve got nothing to worry about.” He bent forward, stroked her cheek, and smiled. “I pulled out in time. God knows,” he whispered, “it wasn’t easy.”

  Was he disappointed? Probably so. He’d taken her to the heights of ecstasy but had then sacrificed a great deal of his own pleasure for her sake. What a thoughtful, caring act.

  “I appreciate all you’ve done for me.” Hattie pressed her hand to his cheek. “You’re a good man, Willie Morse.”

  * * * *

  It was nearly sun-up before Hattie slipped into her own bed. When she arrived home, she’d taken great care with her nightly ablutions, thoroughly washing herself, and all the while staring at her image in the mirror. To think, she’d left her room that afternoon as an innocent young girl who knew nothing—nothing!—about love and love-making. She had returned as a woman, a woman who had tasted passion and desire. A woman who loved the pleasures a man could give.

  But only if that man were Willie, of course.

  He cared about her. He wanted her happiness as much as he wanted his own.

  Yes, Willie had made her a woman. Even more, he’d taught her how to live, not merely exist.

  For the next few days, Hattie’s emotions see-sawed wildly. Up. Down. She couldn’t quite get herself on an even keel.

  One moment found her soaring with newfound excitement while in the next she plummeted to the depths of despair. She sang with joy. She sobbed with worry.

  Not only had Hattie been changed by her experience with Willie, the entire world around her had been transformed, as well. New possibilities abounded. How many more pleasures could life hold? How many more secret delights awaited discovery?

  More than ever, Hattie wanted to learn, to grow, to reach out, throw her arms around the earth and sky and shout for the beauty of it all.

  All because of Willie Morse. All because he believed in her. She believed in him, too.

  Together, they could make the world their own.

  Tuesday evening after dinner, Hattie retreated to her room with her notebooks. It was her regular custom to study her nursing assignments before bed. She truly believed that sleeping on it helped fix knowledge in one’s head.

  She quickly completed the work Dr. Kellerman had given her—information on the various degrees of burns and differences in proper treatment for each. Hattie shuddered at the thought of charred, peeling skin and prayed she might never have to dress such horrible wounds.

  Nursing involved so much more than she’d expected. The more she learned, the more apparent it became that she’d once again chosen the wrong profession. But she would continue her studies, she would do her best, and she would not look back upon her decision with regret.

  Nor would she ever regret what she and Willie had done.

  Pushing her textbook aside, Hattie allowed her mind to wander back to the night she’d spent in Willie’s bed. She hadn’t seen him since, but was waiting until her emotions were a bit more settled.

  Lately, she’d been toying with a few thoughts, thinking of all the wondrous possibilities awaiting those who dared to claim them.

  Indeed, fortune favored the bold.

  “Audaces fortuna iuvat.”

  With a wicked smile, Hattie rose and went to her door. She opened it, peered out, then silently closed it behind her. She moved quietly through the dimly-lit corridor. The doctor left small lamps burning all night for the comfort and security of his patients—of which there were none at the moment. Only in times of serious injury—such as Willie’s—or a catastrophic illness would a patient be required to remain overnight at the hospital. Women, of course, wanted to have their babies at home, surrounded by the love of their family. Her stealth that night was intended not to prevent disturbing a patient’s rest, but to avoid waking Abner or Charlotte Kellerman.

  She crept down the stairs, the slippers upon her feet making only the slightest of sounds. Her fingertips glided over the smooth, polished handrail. At the bottom of the stairs, she stopped, listened intently, and then, confident no one was awake, she slipped through the darkness like a shadow. Only when she was safely ensconced in Dr. Kellerman’s library with the door shut behind her did she let out a breath.

  Quickly she lit a small lamp and turned the wick down low. It provided barely enough light for her to see the titles of the leather-bound books on the shelves. Hattie leaned close, examining each. On occasion, she helped out with domestic chores and had often dusted these shelves. She knew exactly what she was looking for.

  Now, her eager fingers closed around a slender volume as she pulled it from the shelf. Holding it close to the light, she read the gilded letters and smiled. Yes, she’d found it.

  Hattie stifled a laugh, amazed by her own brashness. In the past, she’d been such a very good girl, or at least, she’d tried her best. She’d followed all the rules. She was quiet. She was soft-spoken. She minded her manners, kept a pleasant attitude, and never uttered a complaint.

  All of that had changed now.

  For the better part of the next hour, she immersed herself in her reading. Hattie loved the library and the valuable information it contained. With a bit of patience and persistence, the answers to all of life’s most pressing questions could be found in books.

  She pored over the pages, mentally noting passages of special interest, and wondering why she’d not thought to bring her notebook. She hoped she could remember all the pertinent facts. So deeply involved with her study was she, Hattie failed to hear the approaching footsteps. When the door opened and Dr. Kellerman suddenly cleared his throat, she gasped and jumped from his big, upholstered chair, dropping the book to the floor. Flustered, she quickly bent down to retrieve it.

  “You frightened me.” She edged her way to the bookshelf and replaced the volume, standing in such a way that the physician could not see exactly which book she’d been perusing. “I couldn’t sleep,” she added in a shaky voice. “I thought it would be a good time to work on my studies.”

  “I must say, I’ve never known anyone so dedicated as you, Hattie.”

  “I want to be a good nurse.” She breathed a sigh. He’d believed her.

  “Nursing is not an easy profession, but it is a noble one. The world needs more young women like you.”

  She didn’t deserve his flattery. Embarrassed by his kind words, Hattie lowered her gaze. “I’ll go upstairs to my room, sir. I think I’m ready to sleep now.”

  “Yes, indeed. Medical texts can be a bit tiresome.” He nodded toward the shelves as she stepped away. “In the future, Hattie, if you have questions on certain topics, you might want to come to me instead of trying to find the information on your own. Not everything on the printed page is accurate, you know.”

  Hattie thought her heart must have stopped. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t move. A haze of guilt and shame swirled around her. She’d not fooled the good doctor. He knew exactly what she was about.

  “Yes, sir.” She mumbled the words. “Good night, Dr. Kellerman.” Able to move at last, she rushed from the library, ran up the stairs, and threw herself onto her bed.

  Chapter Ten

  Sitting in the sheriff’s office with the front door opened to let in the breeze, Willie crossed his hands behind his neck and leaned back. He propped his feet on the desk. He was no longer working nights. Instead he helped out during the day, kept an eye on the place when Sheriff Bryant wasn’t there, and looked for ways to make himself useful. Most of the time, at least.

  At other times—like now—he liked taking it easy, enjoying whatever came his way.

  When he heard the click-clack of boot heels over the boardwalk, a smile crossed his face. He knew exactly what was coming his way. More correctly, he knew who was coming his way. Funny how a man could memorize little details like the sound of a young woman’s walk. Not any young woman, of course. Hattie Mae.

  He quickly ros
e and went to the open door to greet her. He hadn’t seen her since his birthday. As much as he’d wanted to call on her, he wasn’t sure how she felt about him now…after what had happened between them.

  He was about to find out.

  “Hattie, it’s good to see you.”

  “I’ve got to talk to you,” she said in an odd whisper, her voice hoarse. “Is the sheriff here? What about Deputy Goddard?”

  “Both at lunch,” Willie told her. “Over at the café. I suspect they’re fighting over Miss Munro again.”

  Hattie giggled. “It’s plumb pitiful the way that woman leads those two men on.” Hattie’s face grew serious. “Can we speak privately here?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  Although Willie had been able to clearly recognize Hattie’s familiar footsteps, he wasn’t able to read her emotions. It left him unsettled. Worried, almost. Whatever she meant to tell him had an urgency to it, but also seemed to leave her in a state of breathless excitement.

  He ushered her into the office, watching as she poked her head around the corner to check the cells. Whatever was stirring, she meant to make absolutely certain the two of them were completely alone. His apprehension grew.

  “What is it” he asked. “If something’s wrong—”

  She shook her head. “Not at all. In fact, quite the contrary.” Now, she seemed to grow a bit more relaxed. She leaned back against Sheriff Bryant’s desk, clasped her hands together, and smiled. Not her usual prim and proper smile. Oh, no, not at all. This smile was positively wicked.

  Willie licked his lips.

  “What do you mean?” He choked out the words, his desires for Hattie arousing him immediately. Hattie could surely see his erection straining against the crotch of his pants.

  “We don’t have to worry, Willie.” Her eyes glowed like radiant gray orbs. “You know, about…” Hattie suddenly turned shy. She lowered her gaze. “Consequences,” she said at last.

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”